Hard drive crashed

Cutting right to it: Recently, my hd just suddenly fried itself and it can't be read/run on PC at all......sooo.....basically, ALL my work for the past 5 years are inaccessible (unless I had thousands of dollars to throw at someone to extract the data, that would be grrrreatttt)

Ok seriously, no, it's not even funny. I was having anxiety attacks...if I can call it that. Just thinking about the amount of stuff I had that I can't replicate or get back...
I had heaps of work man, and although a lot was unfinished, I had heaps with 10s of hours into each (plus I edit a lot). Not everything was backed up, thankfully most of my work was uploaded here or Tumblr...recent one was a painting of Garrus which I was proud of but FUCK. GOD FUCKING DAMN THIS SHIT, I'M SO...I'M JUST DEVASTATED AND PISSED. And now I'm wracking my brain for all the things I need to re-collect and start over, dl etc. programs, files... okay, so my art's gone, but I can draw them again and most likely they will look better because well, I'm better than a year ago (it will just be annoying and tedious to have to redraw it again) but then my docs... that's what kinda gets to me the most, because I write a lot of my ideas down and considering I don't have all too many ideas these days, they give me inspiration, so yeah....brain, do your magic.
And of course, just sentimental stuff too. I didn't have *too* much photos or w/e and most I just grabbed from somewhere else, but....sigh. Music is going to be the worst thing to recover because yeah, I can't remember all of it and that makes me panic, even if that seems illogical, a lot of it was hard to find. ffffffffffffffffffff UGH WHY.
And also the requests were...yeah... they of course are gone too.

My husband bought me a new PC, not laptop, and... well windows 8.1...what can I say, it's no Windows 7 and I would prefer to downgrade. I hate this app looking set up, why do they think everyone that uses a computer likes using phones....*cough* >_> This time, THIS FUCKING TIME I will have money to afford an external HD. 

Now I must find all my drivers and most important of all, my beloved CS2. Screw everything else. I need to redraw the most important stuff I had again. oh god, the more I think about it, the more I feel I wanna vomit. 

I think I'm going to...use a physical pencil for a while....after I replace some lost stuff.


signed,

very distressed person.